hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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