She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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