I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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