sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize