a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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