I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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