tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize