its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my shit smells like andre
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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