the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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