Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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