are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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