Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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