4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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