and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize