My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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