its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize