I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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