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Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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