he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize