I wannas sexs uuuuu
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize