Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize