I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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