Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize