grandma shit on top of the toilet
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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