You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize