Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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