and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He felt like a one man threesome
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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