We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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