he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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