So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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