Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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