everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize