What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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