You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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