I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize