I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize