I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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