hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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