Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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