So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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