Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no you cant smoke seaweed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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