3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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