How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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