i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize