I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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