Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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