yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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