I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize