You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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