happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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