i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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